Gay Germany: Cologne and the Gay Games 2010

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At the Gala Musical Concert on Thursday August 5 2010, as part of the week-long Gay Games sports and culture festival in Cologne, the Rainbow Orchestra played a variety of musical and choral pieces including an excerpt from Aaron Copland’s ‘The Tender Land’. The music was soft, embracing and intimate–a fitting piece to include in this week’s musical events and in this ‘gay-tender’ city.

Thomas Haas, the director happened to be a the door when I walked in one day. He was cheerful and welcoming and showed me around with an offer of a soft drink. No alcohol is served. We were joined by Sean, a 19-year old blonde baby-faced volunteer (both men in photo left) one of 40 who help run Anyway along with 4 paid staff.

In addition to the cafe visitors can also access counseling, a theatre group, soccer team and social outings. Important issues such as coming out, relationships, HIV and safe sex and dealing with families are common concerns. There are  four social workers affiliated with Anyway who offer private sessions when requested. As we talked a small group clustered around a guitar player and sang some fav tunes.

Most kids find out about Anyway through online sites such as gayromeo.com, funky boys.com, or DBNA.de and come to the cafe for companionship and information. Staff are trained to watch out for newcomers and make them feel welcome. Thomas, Sean and I then had a discussion about the merits and drawbacks of different kinds of cruising: looking only for a monogamous partner or playing the field–online, at the sauna, on the street, in clubs and discos, at one of the LGBT organizations or at Anyway.

Homeless youth who are alienated from their families can get housing assistance from the city and some financial assistance through the youth welfare office (Jugendamt). Others who experience homophobia in school can go to a designated teacher (vertraunslehrer–trusted teacher) who is trained to deal with abuse and discrimination. If there is evidence of abuse at home the teacher must report it to the Jugemdamt. For serious health issues Anyway refers kids to the public health service and to gay friendly or gay doctors and nurses.

There is also a yearly international German Bear Prideweek in November; Bartmanner Koln is the oldest  bear association in the world, started in 1986. In February Germany celebrates ‘Karneval’ with festivities all over the country. In Cologne thousands of LGBT residents join in with their own contingents and costumes. There is a annual LGBT film festival that attracts people from all over Europe.

This touching ritual was held a short distance away from another poignant reminder of gay history. Facing east is a triangular carved marble monument dedicated to the LGBT victims of National Socialists (Nazis) in the 1930’s and 40s. (photo left) The inscription reads: "killed, silenced: to the gays and lesbians sacrificed by the National Socialists" Dedicated  June 6, 1995, sponsored by the Magic Flute Gay Mens Chorus of Cologne.

Another memorial, a small platz (plaza) near Lindenstrasse with trees and cafes, is named after Jean Claude Letist a Belgian-German gay man who’s was a pioneer gay right advocate as well as a founder of AIDSHilfe foundation. His life was cut short by AIDS at the age of 44, in 1990.

More lively aspects of the LGBT scene can be seen and heard at dozens of venues across the city. The heart of the scene (as well as much straight cafe life–the two lifestyles blend easily and often in Cologne) is Rudolfplatz, a beehive of social activity on weekends and after six on weekdays. Not far way is the Neumarkt and Heumarkt plazas with their own array of gay and straight haunts. In a special edition the ‘Out in Cologne‘ booklet published specially for the Gay Games, I counted at least 18 club-bar-disco places and events including the leading splash called the Colours party, an annual huge party that fills the Heumarket, Cologne’s largest outdoor square, with thousands of mostly bare-chested celebrants as part of Pride weekend.

Colours is one of the major events that happens on CSD Pride weekend (first weekend in July) on Saturday. The other two are the enormous Pride Parade on Sunday and the Cologne AIDS Gala on Friday. The amount of beer consumed over the weekend could float a ship but most people know how to manage their drinking and there is little trouble with a minimum of police presence.

Following Pride Weekend there is the WomenPride festival offering concerts, film, parties, pop artists performances, readings and lots of mixing. In February there is Karnival; in July there’s Pride weekend; in October the Beer Fest for everyone; and in November its the Bear festival. It’s hard to forget gay life in Cologne.

AIDS-Hilfe Cologne
For a break from the scene and some delicious food, the AIDS organization AIDS-Hilfe on Beethovenstrasse offers a big three-course midday meal in their Regenbogen (Rainbow) Cafe for the absurdly low cost of 4 euros. I could not consume all the food and neither could Martin, a Gay Games runner from Manchester, UK who joined me at my table. The cafe was started in 2000 to offer low income HIV people a place for a healthy, hearty and affordable meal. Indigent people can get the same meal for 2.5 euros.

AIDS-Hilfe, like the big AIDS organization Terrence-Higgins Trust in London, is a full-service health and social service agency on five floors  that offers comprehensive information and support to HIV affected and infected people as well as education outreach to schools and other agencies. Marlon Berkigt (photo right with Ursula Brechner) said there were 250 volunteers and 30 paid staff at AIDS-Hilfe. Their annual budget of 2 million euros comes from state and private sources in order to serve more than 200 regular clients and more than a hundred thousand overall contacts a year.

A major service is HIV testing and counseling and emotional support. When further medical care is needed they refer out to specialists. Unfortunately about 70% of new HIV infections are among men who have sex with men (MSM), said Marlon. Of that population most are over 40 years old who seem seduced by faulty thinking that because they are older they’re somehow less at risk or because of modern medications they see HIV as a manageable disease. So AIDS-Hilfe still has much work to do including outreach education to the gays bars and cruising scenes.

At Home: Andre and Gerhard
But life is not all music, drinking, illness, dancing and public festivities .

Gay life at home in Germany is ‘normal’. During the Gay Games I was hosted by a gay couple, Andre and Gerhard, who live in a modern bright cheerful and modestly stylish two bedroom apartment in the Friesenplatz area. Together for eleven years, they are originally from South Africa and have lived in Cologne for the past four years. Speaking fluent English, German and Africaans they are among the ‘professional’ class of residents here with sufficient income and assets to be called middle class. Andre (photo left) is a commercial architect and Gerhard (photo right) is a manager for T-Mobile phone company.

They deliberately chose to live outside South Africa because they wanted cultural and language diversity in their lives. When Gerhard was offered a job transfer they took the opportunity to move to Cologne. Part of their decision had to do with the quality and quantity of gay life in the city.

Nevertheless, most of their friends are non-gay people whom they have meet at work or though other friends. "We feel good enough about our identity and don’t have to surround ourselves only with other gay people. Oddly enough, straight people add diversity to our lives. We also like older friends, our age (38, 43) or older who are thoughtful and not much interested in the ‘action’ scene, although we have access to that if we want.

Just look where we live. You can walk for five minutes and there are bars, cafes, a sauna–and city cultural events. That’s why we chose this area of the city." They have never encountered any homophobic words or action. That was one of the reasons behind their move to Germany–the openness of gay life in Cologne. "But they don’t have the Miss Gay Soweto drag contest here, which we always enjoyed," noted Andre.

But not all was well at first. They didn’t have a community of friends; Andre as an independent architect did not come by clients easily; the long winter nights; adjusting to a new culture and learning the language was not always smooth;. "But it’s been worth it. South Africa is a ‘tenuous’ country and one can’t be assured that stability will hold given the great economic and racial issues. Germany is more consistent and stable we think." (photo right: South Africa Gay Games athletes)

Currently they are looking to buy an apartment in central Cologne. The price is about 2-3000 euro per square meter, so a hundred square meters flat (just under 1100 square feet) will be around 250,000 euros (about $317,000). They plan to live in Cologne for the rest of their lives as far as they can tell for now, but would ideally like a home in both places since their families will continue to be in RSA.

The down side about being gay here? "I really can’t say there is a downside, as far as we are concerned. There is always the problem of AIDS and maintaining a decent income, but this not just for us. The only small issue here for gays is in the ethic outlying districts where there are immigrant populations that come from homophobic countries such as the MIddle East."

Heinz and Juergen
Perhaps a more representative gay German couple are Heinz and Juergen, 53 and 52 (photo below), who invited me to dinner one evening. Together for 27 years, since their late twenties, Heinz and Juergen are both native Germans having lived most of their lives in Cologne.  They are friends of Andre and Gerhard and live a similar lifestyle in a stylish flat, which they have owned for ten years. Juergen is a professor at the University of Cologne (founded 1388) where he teaches German to foreigners who want to be more proficient in the language. Many of his students are business people with international dealings.

Heinz is a documentary film producer for German television, who also happens to have a PhD in physics. Their home is decorated with modern furnishings, has three bedrooms, two baths and a garden in the back. They are in a five-story apartment building with mostly straight couples and kids.

Their lives are comfortabgly stable after the usual ups and downs to achieve compatibility. Both are very fluent in English and are able to easily articulate abstract political and social ideas such as the potential threat to gays posed by the influx of Islamic immigrants into Germany over the past twenty years. This and the ever-present neo-Nazi mentality and anti-gay/anti-semitic skinheads are seen by Heinz as risks for the gay community, granted unlikely at the present time, but need to be watched in the coming generation.

During our dinner together, Juergen brought up another issue regarding being gay, that is, the subtle and probably unintended discrimination that comes from straight people who think marriage and children are the norm. He feels straight couples think gay couples are "selfish" by not wanting children, as if that is the sole purpose of marriage. But today gay and lesbian couples do find ways of having children–if they have the will.

Straight couples seem to judge, according to Juergen, childless gay couples as lacking something. However, Heinz offered that  straight people are usually unable to get outside their own paradigm about what is a family. "They are stuck in their relationship being about children whereas gay couples often feel their relationships are about personal fulfillment. I  agree–it’s not just an identity, it’s our destiny, to be more aware and more open to new ideas."

Cologne Gay Games
The Gay Games came to Cologne for good reasons: excellent facilities, good transportation, supportive city government, open LGBT scene, lively events and a national pro-gay attitude toward LGBT citizens symbolized by government sanctioned gay partnerships. Many sporting events were held at the large Sports University in the suburb of Mungersdorf, a short tram (U-Bahn) ride from city center–swimming, water polo, running, soccer, beach volleyball, basketball, body building, power lifting, table tennis and field hockey. (Also see figure skating video)

GlobalGayz writer Richard Ammon competed in swimming for the seventh time in the Games, since 1986 in San Francisco, thus the predominance of swimming photos of the Games. About 800 swimmers from 25 countries participated in hundreds of individual and team races that ranged from short 50-meter sprints, lasting 25-40 seconds, to the very lengthy 1500 meter freestyle races that took about 20 minutes per race to complete.

Overall there were 35 sports, including such diverse activities as ballroom dancing (see video) to shooting to billiards to bridge, at more than a dozen venues involving about 9000 athletes and thousands of generous local and foreign volunteers who offered their time for hours and days. As might be expected from a German host, the organization and functioning of the Games went mostly smoothly from opening to closing ceremonies.

As in previous Games, a centerpiece was the 275-page booklet given out to all participants containing descriptions of every sport and location as well as listings for all the cultural activities, parties, gathering places (‘villages), city tours.

But it was not all joyful celebration. There were two separate moments of silence, the first in remembrance of the young people who died recently at the Love Parade in Duisberg, Germany, where hundreds of young party-goers trapped in an access tunnel panicked and stampeded which crushed a dozen people to death. The entire Gay Games stadium went silent. A while later there was another silent remembrance, this one for people taken by AIDS.

The three women also said he is disliked because of his libertarian social views. Many lesbians do not approve of his ideas against social programs (that benefit less privileged citizens). Many lesbians are not high wage earners and some need occasional help with medical care and social security benefits. "He has been an ‘absent’ member of our community and we don’t like that…and his political ideas make him unpopular. He sometimes stirs up problems because his lack of diplomacy in public appearances… We were surprised he was invited to speak and it was not unexpected that he would receive some disapproval. It was our way of letting him know about our opinion…"